“Jesus Joe, I wish you wouldn’t do that!” “Nice to see you too, lass.” “How about giving a girl a bit of warning next time? You scared the shit out of me!” “What would you like me to do, send you a text message? “Am thinking of visiting, are you decent?” Come on, where’s the fun and spontaneity in that?” “Well I hope your CPR skills are up to scratch because you are likely to give me a heart attack one of these days!” “Mouth to mouth skills? I really have to visit more often if you’ve already forgotten. Come here and let me refresh your memory…” “Mmm. Would be almost worth it to stop breathing, to have you resuscitate me like that.” “Now don’t go getting any ideas lass. And don’t try to distract me before I’ve had a chance to take care of the business part of my visit.” “Business? And here I was thinking you’re here because you missed me!” “Of course I missed you. Although I am here a lot more often than you may realise…” “What? You mean you lurk around without letting me know you’re here?!?” “Keep your knickers on lass – well at least for now – I like to keep an eye on things that’s all, to make sure all’s as it should be.” “So you’re my guardian angel now? Not that I mind; all that pristine, virginal whiteness traditionally associated with angels never really sat that comfortably with me. You wouldn’t expect an ethereal being like that to be much use defending you in an emergency… An outlaw as a guardian angel makes much more sense to me!” “I’m glad you approve but it’s not really about that, your guardian angel is more than capable as it happens – I know I wouldn’t want to take him on! And you will be happy to know he’s far from virginal and white.” “Thank God for that!” “I’m sure your appreciation is duly noted. Now, to the business I mentioned. I have a message for you… Why are you giggling?” “I don’t see your wings – you know, since you are a divine messenger and all, shouldn’t you have them?” “Lucky for me they’re not compulsory - all that pristine whiteness doesn’t really do much for me either. Although it would probably have been worth it to have them, just to see the look on your face…” “I think you really would have needed to resuscitate me then!” “There you go, trying to distract me again. Mmm, is that a new perfume you’re wearing?” “Yes, do you like it? It’s called Angel, I kid you not!” “You smell good enough to eat.” “That’s what the ad said! “Perfect for those of us who are convinced we’re good enough to eat!” Fancy that, didn’t think it would actually work! Just start from the lips, please...” “Nice try lass. Aren’t you interested in hearing what the message is?” “Well yeah, I guess. But the longer I can keep you from delivering it, the longer you will have to stay here. I don’t want you to go.” “You know I’m never very far.” “Apparently not! You didn’t happen to see where that phone card went while you were hanging around? I’ve looked for it everywhere.” “It will turn up, don’t worry. In fact, that’s what the message is about. Well not the phone card, but worrying. You need to lighten up, laugh more and have fun. Stop trying so hard and just let things happen – and they will when the time is right.” “That’s it? I was expecting something a bit more – well, you know, profound.” “It doesn’t get much more profound than that lass. There’s no need to make life so complicated. It’s meant to be enjoyed. You’re only here for a short time, don’t waste it on worrying.” “I shall do my best. Thank you for the reminder.” “No worries lass. And now that I have delivered the message, let me help you get started with putting it into practice…” “Joe? “ “Mmm..?” “Next time, can you wear the wings? I’d like to see if they make it easier when we’re… you know, against the door…”

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