I know he needs the sleep but I don’t want to miss out on a single rare moment that I get to spend with him so I’m lying here awake, watching him, committing him to memory for all those other nights that he is not with me. There’s a full moon tonight and a shaft of light falls through the window on the narrow bed, wreathing him in silver. I am sitting on the floor, to give him more room on the narrow bed, to make him as comfortable as possible. The night is warm so I have not bothered to cover myself, I know he will wake eventually and want to love me again. I am leaning my arms on the side of the bed, watching his chest rise and fall to the rhythm of his breath. His head is turned sideways, towards me, the tousled curls half covering his face, his arm hanging over the side of the bed. I’m fighting hard to resist the temptation to touch him, to kiss my way up from his fingers, across his shoulder and up his neck to his lips… I don’t want to wake him, he was so tired when he arrived and I know he only came because he knew I would have been sorely disappointed if he hadn’t. He will need to leave again at first light but I don’t want to think about that yet, I am so happy to have him here with me, I want to slow time down, make every second count.
“What on earth are yer doin’ down there on the floor lass?”
His eyes are open and his hand is reaching for me, pulling me back onto the bed, wrapping me into him.
“I didn’t want to wake you. I was just watching you sleep.”
I love the sound of his laughter. And the way he kisses me.
“Well I had better make it up to you then hadn’t I; not very chivalrous of me to take up the whole bed!”
His hands are in my hair, making my scalp tingle, and he stops, serious for a moment, holding my gaze.
“I missed you lass. It’s lonely up in the mountains. I want to remember this night too.”
And then he’s kissing me. Really kissing me. And everything flows into the here and now. His hands, running down my back, lifting me, and we’re there, his hands holding onto my hips as I sit up and look down into his face for a moment before I start moving. His eyes never leave mine and he’s talking to me, telling me how good I’m making him feel. I feel quite wanton, it’s like the moon has cast a spell on me and I’m doing things I’ve never done before and he’s groaning his appreciation as his hands are gripping me tighter and tighter. I’m watching his face, wanting to see him let go, surrender to me. I grab handfuls of his hair and bend down to kiss him and he rolls us over, his body tight against mine.
“I love you.”
His mouth is off mine only long enough to say the words and then he’s kissing me again, taking charge and it’s me that surrenders. I can’t get close enough but he’s right there and I let him take me over the edge. He’s holding me so tight that I can’t breathe but I don’t care, I could die right here. One more hard push, and he’s there too and we collapse, holding onto each other. I want time to stop.
I wake up when he’s kissing me.
“Honestly lass, you would make a hopeless farmer’s wife, the sun’s up and you’re still asleep!”
He’s already dressed, ready to go, and I am determined to make it as easy for him as I can, biting back the question of when I will see him again and giving him a bright smile instead.
“I guess that means you're not expecting breakfast then!”