Chapter 5

“You want me to help you rob a bank….”

The one called Ned smiles like it was not a unusual request “Will yer sit yerself down anyways, hear me out at least? Have a drink… This here is Steve, and Dan” I hold my hand out in a sort of mock formality and have it roughly shaken by hands that are unsure “Steve, where’s the whiskey…she must be thirsty from all that walking” He motions to the source of a barely disguised snort of mirth from across the gloom. Yeah yeah, take the piss huh? Clearly in the absence of Sky Sports and men in indecently tight yellow shorts which seem to characterise Australian team games, I am to be the entertainment for the evening. Fortunately it is dark so the flush in my cheeks should be only visible to infra red equipment which judging by the paucity of the camp is less than likely “Steve, I said pass the lass a drink”

He is still smirking a little, the young man from across the fire but at least doing me the favour of wiping his hand across the top of the bottle, an infection control nightmare but hey ho, this rough whiskey should about kill off anything. Jesus just don’t cough when it hits your tonsils Eva, just don’t cough. Constricted throat muscles do little for my smile but I do my best “Cheers”. Sitting down, that’s the next challenge…now if only I could see somewhere that doesn’t look like it harbours beasties looking for a warm place to slither into.

Oh his lap it is then, hahaha, well maybe that’s not so bad then. The buzz of the alcohol hitting my blood about matched by a tingle of contact that I have time to explore fully, since the bloke with the hair, Ned, is in no hurry to talk, thinking about something while he pokes a stick into the ashes. Only my sight goes a bit blurred as hands pull me right back against Joes’ hips, an insistent “Sure it is a shame you don’t have on one of those old dresses, yer know the ones with all the skirts and lace and all…the others’d never know what we was up to” in my ear

Mouth open time, I garble a whisper “you don’t seriously think I would contemplate doing…you know… here in front of them…” Just stop that now OK, stop looking at me with that raised eyebrow that says, ‘well you are contemplating it now aren’t yer?’ and more precisely while you shift so that your cock nestles into the far too welcoming groove of my arse. Jesus

Can feel his chest against by back, the broadness of it, the buttons of his waistcoat pressing into my spine and the buckle of his belt warming against my skin, but mostly the growing pressure “Ah sure, of course you wouldn’t, I am teasing yer”. Double bluff, oh Christ that feels good “And anyhow you might frighten the birds again with all that racket!” I don’t know whether to elbow him in the ribs or reach my hand round and give him something to contemplate himself, there’s a thought eh? But I am trying not to move, nor to whimper out loud, honest

“Have you ever been to Jerilderie Eva?” I am sure I jumped out of my skin, funny how easy one can lose track huh? Smile pleasantly that’s the thing; smile pleasantly like you didn’t have this blokes cock jammed up against you.

“Err yeah went once a while back, and that was probably enough to be honest. Weird place. One horse town without a horse, as if a stranger had marched in one day and ridden out on it, and they were always wondering what was going to go missing next. They looked at me a bit funny. Why do you ask?” Idle chat about vacations I have taken is frankly losing a battle here with just concentrating on swaying very, I hope, imperceptibly. I love the way he breathes just a bit faster. How he is just direct like that, how he doesn’t hide that he wants you. oh..

I can see Ned grinning at me from here, seems like he is unwilling to move on quite yet “Joe will yer leave the Lass alone, I am trying to talk to her” No room for delicacy here then, I try not to crease under his slightly apologetic knowing gaze, while he grins back “Did yer turn up looking like that?” Well that evidently has made Dan and Steve’s night. Joe well he is just still, lucky I don’t have eyes in the back of my head since he is smirking no doubt, my attire it appears is something of a theme. But really, these boys could use some charm lessons. I may be a bit of a mess but then they evidently haven’t had too many close encounters with a mirror either lately.

“I don’t know what you mean” My best derisory ‘that should sort them out’ voice.

“In breeches like that!” He does seem genuinely, well shocked perhaps not the word, but more perplexed as to the sanity of it all I will give him that. “The fellas would have their eyes out on stalks fer sure, and you being on that bicycle and all” I can’t help but giggle a little, has he no idea how far it is to Jerilderie from here? No one in their right mind would set off in less than a comfy car with adequate suspension and A/C at least, never mind my untrusty steed. “If yer don’t consider me forward to say”

He is strangely arresting, polite to the point of awkwardness almost, but a suggestion that had I been ‘one of them’ and not some oddity his mate had picked up somewhere, his natural way, cruder and engaging, would be blowing like a full flow through the conversation. Oh hark at me...the man just said you would be a sight for sore eyes on a bike…give over, but it is enough to disarm my slightly stroppy manner “No…that’s alright. Well I can’t remember what I had on”

He seems to find that amusing, like as if one wouldn’t have a choice “I am sure as hell that they would!” There is a lull now, while everyone takes a drink or two, and decides that it is best left, not least Joe behind me. I am a little perplexed myself as he says

“Dyer happen to have any of them photographs of the place like?” and my attention goes back to reason I am here, well apart from the insistent question his cock is asking me that is.

“What of Jerilderie? Surely you are not thinking of robbing the bank there- haven’t you done that once already?” Smart girl Eva, impress them with your local knowledge and maybe they will give it up and say…'Clearly we can’t fool the likes of you. Really our names are Bruce, every last one of us. Ned, Joe, Dan and Steve! Hahahah Christ well that was a laugh! Had yer going for a while eh? Now lets get back to town and find a bar'. No such luck.

“Aye well I am sure they have refilled the safe since then Lass!”

Oh fucking funny…right. Sigh, you know I may have had enough, despite the fore mentioned insistent question. “I am sure they have” I feel vaguely stupid sitting on his lap now, as if I am part of some joke on me, and despite his arm coming round my waist I answer in a curt snipe “You may be interested to know that the bank isn’t next to the Royal Mail anymore” So there.

“Ah it isn’t? So where has it gone then?” I wish he wouldn’t look at me like that, with all that attention on searching my face for something he wants; only at the moment it is details. Fuck it…in for a penny huh?

“Hold on, I have my camera in my bag” Somewhere. Taking me a few minutes to locate it in the far too many pockets, this bag seemed like a good idea at the time, a safe place for everything, except that I can never find jack shit. That’s what started all this as I recall, a failure to find my bicycle lock key in this bloody bag. If I had been more organised I would have been away from that bank and home watching TV, rather than up against the wall with a bank robber, my knickers in heap on the floor. Clearly there is something to be said for chaos then.

“Ta Da!” Ok so that might have been a bit over the top, not like I pulled a rabbit out of a hat, just a little silver box. But it may yet be magic. I am not unused to men (ha you gathered right,) but sitting in the close middle of four of them, and four of them who, it appears, have a different notion of personal space to what might be considered the norm in this century, is somewhat overwhelming. I feel like Mother arrived with still warm Victoria sponge into the middle of a 1950’s birthday party, apron still on and boys crowding round to see, mouths open and leaning all over me hoping to be the first to get a taste. Alright so maybe that is not an analogy I should pursue right now, not while he is so close I could lick his lips for him. Boy in short trousers with a side parting and nice manners he most certainly is not.

Flick past all those…quickly, sure they don’t want to see the ones of trees. Aha here we are- the sign for Jerilderie, a little blurry on account of taking it while trying to simultaneously drive “This is me…” No shit Eva! “And this is me in the Royal Mail Hotel, just a while back” Yes that is my room, and yes that is the bed you can see, and oh…move on quickly woman. “And here I am standing outside the Hotel, and see there’s no Bank of New South Wales.”

Oh fuck…why on earth did I wear that red skirt with the red cardy? I look like a giant tomato! Not one word you buggers. I dare you to say one word.

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